Most people know that I’m a thinker…I often over-process & am what most would call a daydreamer. I think of what my destiny in life is supposed to be quite often. Recently I told Ken that I know I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing & I know I am not where I am meant to be.
We had another good friend pass away a couple weeks ago & times such as an end of a life really make me think even more-so as to what I am doing with my life and if I am indeed fulfilling it in every way possible. I can tell you this…I have no regrets, I live life to the fullest, laugh often, and take every single opportunity of adventure I am capable of. Being ‘comfortable’ for too long suppresses my sense of adventure & stifles my being. I do believe that one needs to take risks & not ‘settle’ into complete routines. Life is not a written out in a planner. Now, sometimes that part can even be hard for me. I’m spontaneous, yes but I am a total list maker & make lists of the lists of what needs to be done, what I want to get done, lists of the lists that I need to pack, appointments…just lists. I have lists of topics I want to write about, lists of projects that I want to make & lists of what I need to have to fulfil those projects. So you get the jist….I do try to have ‘focus’ and ‘order’ in my life…and I can tell you this…it rarely works out because life happens!! I often wonder who sticks to their lists in life & pass special opportunities in life by because they are so bound to these lists…
I guess what I’m saying &trying to implement more-so in my life is to not fret over what doesn’t go right & make the best out of it. I like to think I already do this. Now, I can also say it’s never been my dream to be a trucker’s wife & spend hours, days, and months on the road. It just never even crossed my mind that I’d be living the life I am now…let alone having it be the biggest blessing. Honestly, within a 3rd period we traveled to all of the 48 continental United States and many Providences in Canada. We have walked on the Great Salt Lake, stepped in Buffalo dung, been amongst the homeless in the south, driven in Vegas, LA, Miami, Boston & everywhere in between. Just recently we saw our last big city being NYC. It was a high but at the same time it’s like, it’s over…but not really. We haven’t even scratched the surface yet!!! Sure, the places we’ve been, the people we’ve met, the places we’ve made our mark…they are there, we have the pictures, the videos & our memories of this journey. And what a journey it’s been!!! I never ever thought I’d stray from my dreams & my plans in life & have this whole trucking thing be the dream I never knew I had.
Now, like I said earlier…I know this is not what I was meant to do in life and I know I have so much more to give to the World. I feel better when I know I am giving it my all & doing my very best to make a difference.
So, when I told Ken this he actually listened…like really listened. He knows I want to write, and to live out West. I cannot even express in words how strong my desire for both of these things are. But while we are following his dream of driving truck I am putting my hopes & dreams on the back burner. His job is more stable & makes more sense. But I seriously want to write, travel, climb mountains, watch sunsets on the horizon, experience every little thing life has to offer. I want to aspire to inspire people. I’m not sure how or what I’d do to do that. But I often notice how un-inspired people are and I’d like to somehow be able to show people how to get inspired, live their dreams & to not miss a single opportunity. Even if the opportunity that is put before you is not something that you’d ever think you’d do…you should do it!!! It may just be the dream you never knew you had…like me with trucking!!!
So, seeing I am talking about how you should always live your dream I figure I should eat my own words & do what I need to do to get where I want to be!! Are you where you want to be in life? Are you taking chances, taking risks?
I was recently contacted by an author in NY that wanted to take excerpts from a story I wrote about my Mom and implement them in a book he wants to write. At 1st I was like, WOW!! That’s neato. But it didn’t take long until I realized that this man wanted to take MY story of MY life and make $ off of me helping his create a storyline. I am pretty open once you know me but it’s my life, I’m the one who had to live through it and by no means can I or will I give my life to someone else to write about. I have cut down on my postings a lot lately and have received messages as to why. Well this is a big reason…that and I feel as though I am writing to an invisible audience at times.
So…this is what I’m going to do…I’m going to write…a book. This time for real. I hope that by putting myself out there I will perhaps touch one life. Make even one person be inspired, to follow their dreams, to treasure life even through the bad times. One thing I can honestly attest to is that life is often unfair, and sad, and the challenges are great, we all have hurdles in life we must get over to become the best person we can be. It’s like a river I guess you could say…turbulent and wild in places & every so often you reach a calm. It’s up to us to keep paddling!! When my time is coming to an end I want to know I took all my chances, didn’t leave a stone unturned, left my mark …no matter how small it may be. Shouldn’t we all be doing this?
Below is a song that inspires me in so many ways....
I Was Here - Lady AntebellumI WAS HERE By Lady AntebellumYou will notice me
I'll be leavin' my mark, like initials carved in an old oak tree
you wait and see
maybe I'll write like Twain wrote
maybe I'll paint like Van Gough,
cure the common cold
i don't know but I'm ready to start cuz i know in my heart
I wanna do something that matters
say something different
something that sets the whole world on it's ear
i wanna do somethin better, with the time i've been given
and i wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
and leave nothin less that something that says i was here
I will prove you wrong
if you think im all talk, your in for a shock
cuz this streams too strong, and before too long
maybe i'll compose symphonies
maybe i'll fight for world peace
cuz i know it's my destiny to leave more that a trace of myself in this
place
I wanna do something that matters
say something different
something that sets the whole world on it's ear
i wanna do somethin better, with the time i've been given
and i wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
and leave nothin less that something that says i was here
And i know that i, i will do more than just pass through this life
i'll leave nothin less that somethin that says i was here, i was here, i
was here, i was here
Wanna do somethin that matters
somethin that says i was here
wanna do somethin that matters
somethin that says i was here, i was here
.JPG)
