Life is too short

Yesterday I went to my Uncle Harold's wake and this morning was his funeral. It's always nice seeing the family but so sad that we meet up under sad circumstances.

This past summer we went on several camping trips with many members of my family and it was awesome. Oftentimes on those trips it was mentioned that we hardly ever get together as a family anymore other than some birthdays and major holiday's.

Ya know, life is really too short. Even if one lives to be 110yrs old. It's still too short. We talked about each family member taking a month and and having a day or night that they family comes over for food, fun and laughs. Last month my nephew and his wife hosted a Pumpkin Carving party/Fall festival. This month my family is going to have a chili cook off up at our camp and next month Ken and I are hosting a Christmas event.

I think it's so important to make those memories and enjoy one another's company. I never thought I would have lost both of my parents at 10yrs old. If I would have thought it was possible I would have made more memories, been kinder and done my very best. Life has a way of throwing curve balls and we never know when it will end. Nothing lasts forever and nothing is ever going to be perfect. So don't wait for the perfect moment...it may just pass you by.

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right,. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slowly, forgive quickly. Nobody promised life would be perfect, they just said it's worth the ride"

Make your ride one worth remembering.

By candlelight

We spent our Earth Hour last night making our way through the house lit only by candles.

We played three games of Yahtzee at the dining room table. Ken was fortunate enough to get a Yahtzee.

And by golly, so was I!! Which, really, is a miracle.

We did this all in our jammies, messy hair, no makeup, only lit by candles, in our "under construction" dining room.

Ken took a video of the candle lighting. I made a make shift lantern with a canning jar, water, oil and cotton yarn. It worked and provided us much more light than the candles did.

I think we need to practice Earth Hour more often than once a year. How about turning out your lights, your television, computers, phones, etc at least once a week? I know I'm game. This was fun.

Earth Hour

On Earth Hour hundreds of millions of people, organizations, corporations and governments around the world will come together to make a bold statement about their concern for climate change by doing something quite simple—turning off their lights for one hour. In the U.S. where we are already feeling the impacts of climate change, Earth Hour sends a clear message that Americans care about this issue and want to turn the lights out on dirty air, dangerous dependency on foreign oil and costly climate change impacts, and make the switch to cleaner air, a strong economic future and a more secure nation.

Participation is easy. By flipping off your lights on March 27th at 8:30 p.m. local time you will be making the switch to a cleaner, more secure nation and prosperous America.

Stay tuned to see how we participate in Earth Hour and what changes we have made and are hoping to make.

Did you participate in Earth Hour? What did you do? What changes have you made or are making to ensure a healthier Earth for future generations?

Tugging at my emotions

What a week!! I am so ready to put it behind me and start fresh.

It all started on Wednesday evening when my friend called to ask me questions about her new Iphone. We were having a great conversation, and then she told me about my sister who is pregnant. The crazy thing is, Ken & I didn't know. Turns out, she is due in a few weeks. I got to hear from one of my very best friends about my sister's pregnancy, she's having another girl. I had a little chat with my sister that ended in her pretty much shutting me out of her life because I will not tolerate drama and lies. It broke me down at first because once upon a time her and I were close. There comes a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up. It's realizing you don't need certain people and the drama they bring. I'm done.

On Thursday night Ken got home. It's always nice having him home. I love that geek =)

My sister Bobbie was in the hospital having contractions. She is only 7 months along. There has been talk they want us to adopt the baby. We've had too many negatives with trying to adopt and we realize it's just not meant to be. The hurt isn't worth it. I am hoping and praying my sister will be able to keep the baby in awhile longer and that my niece will be born healthy.

On Friday we bought a big honkan grill for our anniversary. It's a bigger version of our smoker. It's pretty much been Ken's dream grill. I am certain that "it's a man thing" We're going to be able to invite the whole neighborhood over when we fill this beast with meat.

So, the weekend was starting out alright, I was pretty much over the whole ordeal on Wednesday night and realized I will be fine.

Saturday morning I woke up around 6am and needed a drink, I turned on the lamp on my bedside table & saw blood all over the place. I'm serious, the floor looked like a massacre. It was on the walls, all over the pet bed, the white carpeting and my dog Mckenzie. She has a growth on her neck that burst. I know, gross. It was horrible, and that's putting it nicely. We took her downstairs and applied pressure. Ken phoned the Vet and left a message with the vet on call. What a mess. After about 45 minutes the vet on call phoned us and told us to try to stop the bleeding and that we could come in at 9am when they open. What??? It was before 6am, our dog's neck is squirting blood and we have to wait 3 flippan hours? UGH!! We were able to stop the bleeding & took her in at 9am. The vet ran a number of tests,, but didn't clean her wound or even bandage it. They said that they could operate on Monday morning. So, we'd have to wait two more days. We were alright with that I guess. A few hundred dollars later, and mind you, nothing done to the wound, we were sent home with antibiotics, and the assumption that McKenzie would have surgery on Monday morning.

Ken and I were sitting at the kitchen bar eating lunch and the vet called. Ken took the call. They went on to say Kenzies thyroid levels were low and her kidney levels on the high side. They said they are going to run another test which costs another $150. That test would be sent down to MSU...because they can read the test better!!! What the heck!! Flashback: two weeks earlier that same vet did that to my friend when his pup was sick....something wasn't right. Ken called and said no to the test and to go ahead with the surgery, they said no. That this new test will be back in 7-10 days and they have us penciled in for the 31st to have the growth removed. WHAT??? Excuse me? My dog is bleeding profusely, from her neck and you expect me to wait 7-10 days so you can run more tests? I think NOT!!

Saturday afternoon my step mom called me and told me the most boggling thing. If you remember from previous posts, I have been searching pretty much my whole life to find the man who saved my life when I was 5 days old. I, along with my biological parents (Jim & Karen) and their friend Joe was involved in a horrific accident when I was 5 days old. Long story short, I wasn't breathing, a cop gave me cpr...and here I am =) Anyways, Donna (my real dad's wife) said "Kat, you're never going to believe this. The man who pulled you from the car accident is at our camp right now" WHAT???? She went on to tell me Jim called her from his cell phone. My brother , Bruce was also up at camp & his neighbor, Hank was there as well. They were tapping maple trees and making syrup. They started talking about accidents after Bruce poked his eye with a stick & this Hank fella spoke of this gruesome accident he came upon years ago. Jim realized it was our accident. That's the story Donna told me. I told her to have Jim call me when he gets home. I told ken of this news & we debated on going up to camp so I could meet my rescuer. We'd take Mckenzie with us. We decided to stay home. Ken said the grill was hot and we'd have to stop and get gas. I thought that meant he didn't want to go, maybe my wanting to go was being selfish. So, we stayed home and he put chicken on the grill. My sister Jamie & her husband stopped over so they had dinner with us. My mind wandered the whole time. I wonder if this man would want to meet me, what would I say to him if and when I meet him? Knowing this information has always been my dream...and there I sat, at the table, pretending to be happy. Pretending I didn't want to be up at camp thanking my hero, still thinking maybe I was being selfish to want to go. I always imagined the day when I'd find out who saved me would be like...and this was nothing like it.

Saturday night Mckenzie's neck began bleeding horribly again. We have no emergency vet here at all on the weekends. We had friends over when it all happened. We were able to get the bleeding under control and we finished watching our movie.

Jim called me today when he got home from camp and told me the whole story and what Hank said about the accident. How the driver of the car had been decapitated, the woman in the backseat was screaming, her back was broken, and she had on a bracelet from the hospital. It was then he and the officer realized there was a baby in the car. The baby being, me. He told Jim about the gawker who lit a cigarette while scoping things out, how Hank unloaded on the guy to get away, there was gas, about the driver of the truck that hit us, how he smelled of alcohol, how the baby's head was the shape of a pancake, how he gave the officer his phone # to call with any updates of the family in the car, about how he always wondered if that baby lived... What are the chances that the man who pulled me from the car would be at my camp? Hank is my brother Bruce's neighbor as I mentioned before...I have so much to be thankful for. I owe a lot to this man. I find myself pretending I am not as excited as I am because it doesn't seem to be phasing ken at all. Maybe I am being odd, but I always thought he'd be excited. I know if someone saved my husbands life when he was young and he had spent pretty much his whole life wondering and searching, I would be ecstatic to meet them. But no, we stayed home..because the grill was hot & we'd have to get stop and get gas. Like I said, I never envisioned the day I find out who saved me would be like this... I am so excited to finally have some answers and I look forward to meeting him real soon.

Tomorrow we will be taking McKenzie to another vet and hopefully they will take care of her.

It's been quite the week of ups and downs, hurt, sadness, and anger, excitement and drama. I plan on going on the road this week as long as McKenzie is fine. I need a break...

Barely Recognizable

Watching the sunset over Lake Superior this summer

It's never too late to become what you might have been ~George Eliot

I have had this quote rolling around in my head for some time now. It fills me with hope, reflection and inspiration.

Most people know me at the happy go lucky gal who has it all. I am usually happy go lucky but what I have is too much. I have a constant struggle with this & I long to have a more simplistic life. I wonder often how we allowed ourselves to get back into this need to have, want to have type of life again. Let's back up a few years.

In 2003 we lost our first house after living there for seven years. Talk about embarrassing and humbling. After much influence and bad choices on our part we were forced to move out and forfeit everything we worked so hard for. We sold the nice pickup for less than what we owed, lost the home that we spent so much time working on. The same home we bought right before our 1st anniversary, had gutted down to the studs, and rebuilt. The same home that had the little veggie garden and a few flower gardens. The same home that we conceived our 2nd baby in, and lost it in. So many memories were left there.

After we lost the house we bought an old 5th wheel camper for $3000 and parked it in Kens parents yard. We would stay in that when we were not on the road which was about 3 days a month. We drove a pickup truck we bought for $300 from the neighbor...and we were fine. When our world was falling apart is when we, as a couple came together the most. We have always had an amazing relationship and we've gone through many struggles and heartache. But this event brought us closer & showed us the true people we were. We didn't need all the "stuff" We were happy.

During the three years of living in the camper and semi we logged thousands upon thousands of miles traveling in the semi. We traveled through all of the 48 continental United States and Many Providences in Canada. Everything that mattered was in that truck and that was each other, and our 4 dogs. Home was where the heart was...and our hearts were together. That is all that mattered.

After almost three full years of living in the semi & camper we were told by a family friend about her parents home going up for sale. They offered it to us at a great price. We decided we'd check it out, knowing that our credit was less than desirable. Ken told me if I liked the house to put money down on it...which I did. Then came the intense paperwork and jumping through this hoop and that hoop. By Ken's busting his butt on the road and my perseverance with the lenders I was able to secure financing for our home we are in now.

We were so excited on that October afternoon when we were given the keys and signed the papers. When we walked in the house we both began opening cupboards, imagining the food that would be made in the kitchen, running up and down the stairs, laying on the carpet and turning the faucet on & off. (Due to the fact that we were never home we didn't have running water or a working toilet in the camper. We bought a porta pottie unit from Walmart that we used in the camper & semi) We were ecstatic...and yet still simple. We had an old white pickup that we purchased from my cousin for $1000& a used Grand Am we purchased from a dealer that lends to anybody..even with crummy credit...and we were happy with that.

Now, four years later we find ourselves back to having it all. I mean seriously, who needs 3 honkan huge big screen televisions, a few computers, enough electronicals to choke a herd of elephants. The more we have or want the more Ken works. We have the fancy shmancy pickup truck all decked out with chrome that houses an 8.1 engine. That basically means we pour oodles of liquid gold aka $$$into it's tank and get a mere 9.66 mph on the highway. We have the camper, the Suburban. As hard as it is to admit, I have entirely too much Christmas stuff. Seriously, 99% of our attic is tubs of Christmas stuff. I am certain that I could decorate at least 10 businesses downtown with all of it. Do I really need it? no. We have the big three person exercise workout station and the top notch treadmill...neither ever get used...but somehow it was a necessity when purchased. I wonder how in the heck we got to where we are now from the people that we were just 4yrs ago.

I have expressed these thoughts to Ken numerous times. Although I am thankful for everything he does to provide us with these things, I don't need it all. In fact, there are things I don't even want but continue to pay for because he wants them. Where have the days of digging out a board game and sitting at the table to play gone? We do that on rare occasion but really...So much of our time is spent watching shows we DVR'd because he was on the road...working, to provide cable...that he never gets to watch...because he is working. How much sense does that make?

I long for that more simplistic life. I don't care if someone looks at us funny because I don't have it all. We got so much of that when we lost the house and it's no big deal at all. Through the ordeal of losing the house we found out who our true friends were...and believe me, there weren't many who stuck around. Plus we had each other & looking out our windshield was a postcard. We were blessed without even realizing it.

I know how and enjoy growing food, canning & preserving it, crocheting afghans, slippers, toys, clothes, dishcloths for the home & gifts, sew and quilt. I make our laundry soap, spin yarn, love hanging clothes on the line. There is so much more I'd like to learn and implement. I am able to make do...and God forbid...GO WITHOUT!! I enjoy the almost choreographed dance we do in our small kitchen when we cook together. We have it down pat so we don't knock each other over but still are able to prepare food together. There is nothing better than taking a ride to the woods and foraging for blueberries, baking from scratch, watching a sunset. You know, the simple things in life people all too often ignore.

What do we really "need"? For me, I know...and had it all 4yrs ago when we had basically nothing but one another. What do I desire or hope? To get rid of the stuff we don't need. Donate, give away, sell, re purpose into something useful. Simplify our lives. We don't need all this stuff. I will work my hardest at doing what I can to simplify...Each week I will do something...

This quote reminds me that with dedication and hope I can & will become the me I want to be. I don't have to follow what people view as the "American Dream" to have happiness and be successful.