25 years

Twenty five years ago the world lost a handsome, intelligent, funny, loving man. He was a brother, an uncle, a nephew, a son, a friend, cousin, a husband, and my Dad.

Dad's passing was a blessing. He had fought the colon cancer for some time and I know he missed my mom dearly. Mom died two months before Dad. Sometimes when I think of Dad, the memories of him seem to be taken over by two times. When he had cancer, and when he didn't.

I'm not going to lie, most of the time, my memory goes to when he had cancer. I was 10yrs old when both Mom and dad died. I have horrific images forever engraved into my mind of his struggle. I don't know what was worse, seeing Dad's body slowly deteriorating or knowing and seeing that his heart was broken without my Mom.

Dad worked at the paper mill to provide for his children. Ten, including me. He was a hard worker and did his job well. He loved his children, even if the words were rarely spoken. We knew.

Before dad died I never gave it any thought on what it would be like to not have your dad and just how much he would be missed. I miss seeing him laying on the couch, eyes closed, him snoring while Andy Griffith was on the television. We'd try to change the channel and he'd pipe up "hey! I'm watching that!" WOW!! Dad had special powers! I often wondered how he did that!

I don't drink beer, nor does Ken but how I would have loved to see dad share a beer with his son in law, just like he did with my brothers numerous times. I'm pretty sure I would have twisted his arm enough to teach me how to play cribbage.

One of my special memories is when we would go camping as a family. Dad, with mom's help outfitted an old school bus into a motor home for the family. That "tan sedan" took us on some fun adventures. The funnest being the years we had our family reunions at Otter Lake in Munising, MI. I often wonder if that's why I love the area so much. It is a place of fond, fun, happy times in my family. It was a time before cancer, before colostomy bags, before oxygen tanks, before medications, before those stupid sponge swabs to moisten his mouth. It was a time of innocence. A time where not a care in the world was around me. It was a time to watch my dad drink his Strohs or Blatz while he stared at the ceiling singing "Please Release Me" while my brother Pat strummed his guitar. It was a time of Dad daring me to throw a water balloon at my brother and offering me a nickle, a dime and a quarter. Those are the times I truly miss.

I hate that cancer took my dad. I hate that he never saw me finish grade school, or meet my boyfriends and threaten them in some sort of fashion. I am sure he would of thought of something to try to "scare" them into treating his daughter right. We never had the father daughter dances or days at school. I really wished he could have been at my wedding. I know he would think Ken is pretty top notch.

Oftentimes I compare the love Ken and I share to the undying love my parents had for one another. It is when I look at Ken's and my marriage and the love we have for one another that I realize...not all of my memories of Dad revolve around cancer. Ken's love for me and his family is a mirror image of the love Dad had for mom and his family. I was able to learn what true love was in the short ten years I had my dad. Cancer didn't teach me that, dad did. That my friends is the most treasured memory and the biggest gift my daddy gave me. I miss him everyday.

Goodbye Betsey Sue

On January 12, 2011 we said a tearful goodbye to our sweet girl Betsey Sue. Four months to the day after we said goodbye to our sweet boy Buster Brown. Life is so strange without them. My heart is sad, but I know they are both in a better place and not suffering anymore.

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened" ~Anatole France

20 years later....

Twenty years and three days after I did a shoulder roll doing gymnastics in 9th grade, which, resulted in me breaking my collarbone, I did it!! I, Katherine M Woodbury did a somersault. Not only once, but TWICE!! The first attempt sent me into the coffee table. The 2nd somersault was a success but neither Ken nor I even thought about taking a picture. So, for the heck of it, and because I'm super daring I did another one tonight. Why you might ask? Because for 20 years I cringed anytime I saw someone do one. Plus I'm 35, and well, ya never know how much longer my bones will allow it. Oh, and I'm cool like that & it was on my aspiration list for 2011.

Sure, there have been several other things I've accomplished that were on the list, but do we really need to see pics of me laughing daily? uhhh nope.

Have fun, laugh, and embrace your inner geek. It makes life that much more fun!!

Aspirations for 2011

Holy wowzers!! Christmas came and went so quickly & before you knew it, we were ringing in the New Year! I realize I didn't even write about Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas. I guess the month's all blurred together. Ken was involved in an accident in his semi the beginning of the year which pretty much kept us busy, and still is. He is fine and so is the other guy. But what a headache and a real happiness mojo damper. We've had some positively fantastic happenings and I'm going to do my very best to share them here. But, this post is about the New Year. New dreams, goals and aspirations. A time to reflect and a time to grow. Each year I make a list of aspirations, dreams, goals I have the coming year. I don't always achieve it all but oftentimes I fulfill those dreams without even noticing it until I begin my new list for the New Year. This year is scattered with a myriad of such goals. Some serious and some wacky. I'd like to share some of them with you.

~Read a book a month. I don't read as often as I'd like or as I used to. I tend to get dizzy if I read too much at one time and the letters dance on the page causing me to get headaches. Thank you meniere's for that. But 12 books is realistic and actually I am hoping to read a lot more than that. The year before last I was lucky to read 3.

~Limit Face book time. I get notifications to my cell phone and I feel it is my duty to respond right away, which interrupts my day. Before you know it, an hour has passed. I won't be ignoring my fab friends or family, instead I will manage my time more wisely.

~Anonymously pay for dinner for a stranger. It's just something I want to do and to see somebody smile would make my whole day, week and month!!

~Get down to a size 6. I know, one of those health type goals. We joined a gym on November 12th which was the 25th anniversary of my Mom's passing. We are both enjoying healthier us's and plan to continue this way of life for the rest of our lives.

~Work out at least 3 days a week. The gym we belong to is open 24/7 365 days a year so there are no excuses other than if I am sick. Knock on wood, the flu bug that is raging through town has not hit either of us yet and I am working very hard on doing everything I can to keep my meniere's under control. The gym has helped that so much. I not only see an improvement in my overall health and size but my balance has gotten a bit better which pretty much rocks all sorts of fanciness!!

~Ride my bike more. Last spring and summer I was such a slacker. The year before I rode 10-15 miles almost daily. It's something I thoroughly enjoy and it also helps my balance and keeps me healthy. Plus, if you've ever been to the Upper peninsula of MI, you know I live in a gorgeous area and it's a shame not to get out and enjoy it.

~Run a marathon. They have a memorial run on the 4th of July and another run in Green Bay in the summertime that I'd love to partake in. They are both for an amazing cause.

~To make birthday gifts. Sure some things will be bought but something has to be handmade for the gift. Be prepared friends and family. Gone are the days of $ or lotto tickets or the like. You might be getting something crocheted, cross stitched, baked or sewed. Who knows what it will be. But I have a deep belief that handmade gifts really show a special kind of love.

~Grow corn successfully in our community garden. Last summer/fall our corn was already thigh high by the 4th of July. Around here the saying is "knee high by the 4th of July" So, we thought we would have a bumper corp...nope. We have several organic gardening books so I will be spending some time this winter and spring learning everything I can about corn. 2011 is going to provide us with enough corn for our consumption and to share with friends, family and whomever I can pawn some off on. Hopefully.

~Make our own bread. The store bought stuff doesn't even come close to a home made bread. First I need to scour my dozens of cookbooks for a recipe. My hope is that all, if not all, then the majority of our bread will be home made.

~Make butter. No, I don't have a butter churn. I would love one though but that's really not going to happen. Instead it is my hope to acquire cream from a farmer or even buy some at the market and make it into butter. Just something I think would be pretty neatotastic!!

~Brush the dogs weekly. Ok, we have 5 dogs and for the most part they are self groomers and don't get all snarly haired. But, brushing on a regular basis would definitely cut down on the loose hair that floats around the house. Say buh bye to giant "extra pets" that are found when the furniture is moved. Plus, it's cute when I'm all done brushing them, they think they are royalty the way they walk around all fancified.

~Open and ETSY store online. I love to craft and I want to do something to bring a bit of income into the household. I believe it would help my esteem or whatever you'd like to call it if I knew I had a "purpose" other than my at home domesticated chores. I love being a housewife but I do miss working. Even if it only brings in a small amount. I'd be doing what I love to do, sharing that with others and contributing to my home.

~Simplify. There are so many areas of my life that need to be simplified. It is something I work on all of the time. We are getting closer but still HAVE way too much and desire too much at times. This is a subject very dear to my heart. I could go on and on for paragraph after paragraph on the different areas that need work.

~Try one to two new recipes per month. I love to cook and Ken loves to cook. Eating the same old things gets rather drab. Even we get stuck in a rut eating the same things from time to time. Time to put those dozens of fabulous cookbooks to better use. If you have a recipe that makes your taste buds have a foodgasm, I'd be happy if you'd share it.

~Write more on my good ole blog. I write often but rarely share my thoughts on here anymore. The last 6 months we have been dealing with so much. It hasn't been all bad but much of it is pretty deep stuff and my heart needs to heal. Those closest to me knows what we have been dealing with. I just hate to clutter my funtastical wacky blog with stuff that does not represent me entirely.

~Become more fluent in ASL. In October Ken & I joined our local deaf club and let me tell you, it's been amazing!! Most people know I have meniere's disease which affects your hearing, eventually making you deaf. At 1st I didn't do as well digesting all of it, then I accepted it. Or so I thought. Since joining this group I am now at total peace with it. It's an amazing group of fab friends. many of which I have known for years. Ken can see more confidence in me and I can totally feel it!!

~Write more on my story. My story, meaning my book. I tend to get frustrated when writing about certain times of my life. It was anything but normal. What is normal anyways? right? It was scattered with love, abuse, death, hardships, infertility, hope. I often times tell people my life began when I met Ken. If I could just get passed the sadness and hurt of the early years and get onto the past 17 years I'd be all set. I'm going to work on that.

~Go on a self searching journey. For lack of better words I call it that. I know my true self and I love myself. But, I want to take a couple days and just "be." I am always connected to many fabulous people and at times I just want to be with myself. Challenge myself, try something new, do something I never thought possible. for myself, by myself.

~Laugh daily. This is a no brainer and is the key to a happy life.

~Hug more. You'd think with me being all sentimental I'd be the extreme "huggy type." Nope. I like my invisible bubble and like it when people respect that bubble. I'm going to work on it.

~Preserve food. Whether it be from our garden, the Farmer's market, berries we foraged for in the woods. The pressure caner and dehydrator will be in full force and the pantry will be well stocked.

~Try a new food. This differs from a new recipe in that I want to try a new ingredient. Like fish. Neither of us eat it. But I want to.

~Ice Skate. It has been years since I skated. I was never really very good but I did enjoy doing it. This past year was getting back on cross country skis and getting my balance where it needed to be to do so. e live in a wunnaful area that offers a few rinks. It's time to utilize them. or at least try my very best.

~Forgive someone. For the past couple years I have done this and it's THE most fantastic feeling to have the anger and hate in my heart gone. I never set out each year with a person in mind. It's just happened. I have a couple people in mind this year. It's gonna be tough, but it can be done and I will do my best. If complete forgiveness does not occur I hope my heart brings me to a content place with that person.

~Sing in front of Ken freely. Ok, we have been together for almost 17yrs and we don't sing in front of one another unless we are goofing around. I love to sing.

~Follow our monthly budgets and put $ in savings. I'm pretty good with this but I do fall short at times. There's always something tempting me to stray and at times I do. I will be accountable and stay focused.

~Go to more play performances. We used to go to several performances a year. Truth be told, we stopped going after my ears took a poo and the whole meniere's thing. It affected so many areas of our lives. But this past year we went to "Wit" and it was the best and totally enjoyable. Plus, in the back of both of our heads is the fact that who knows how long I will be able to enjoy them. So, yup, date night supporting our community theatre is a must.

~Learn how to weave a basket. They offer classes at the Art Center now and then. I've always wanted to enroll. I want to make a basket to gather goodies from the garden.

~Learn something new. I have no clue what. Maybe it'll be yoga, or kickboxing. Maybe it'll be a form of dance. Heck, you never know, it could be yodeling. Doubt the yodeling. But you never know.

~Make a meal for a neighbor.

~Go to our babies memorial at least twice.

~Do at least 6 sunrise bike rides. This past summer I did a few and holy smokies!! amazing. I even had two deer run toward me and then continue down Main Street right in front of my eyes at a little before 6am.

~Watch the sunset and moon rise.

~Pet a horse or ride one. Those that know me know that I am terrified of horses. I find them gorgeous...at a distance.

~Do a somersault. Strange right? I haven't done one since I was in the 9th grade when I broke my collarbone while doing a shoulder roll doing gymnastics. Basically a shoulder somersault. Time to get over the fear I think. lol Hope my bones hold up!

~Grow watermelons and honeydew in the garden.

~Make Christmas gifts.

~Take each of the pups for a walk/run once a week.

~Go fishing and eat the fish we catch. I won't touch the worm but will touch the fish. Ken is the opposite so we make a good team. Now we just need to acquire the taste for it.

~Start a fire with two sticks. Meaning, no lighter fluid, matches or even flint and magnesium. I swear I should have been a boyscout at times. But, I like being a girl. =)

~Do four jig saw puzzles. I never make time to do them and it's something I like to do.

~Visit friends and family monthly. Too often we only get together for special occasions. Holidays, bdays, etc. Gone are the days of "just because" Those are coming back. =)

~Make a skirt using Nana's sewing machine. I have the fabric, the pattern and I've had the machine since Nana passed away. I was always too scared to use it, that I'd break something. Time to use it and make something beautiful for myself.

~Milk a cow. Yup, horrified of cows too. But, I like milk and want to just try it. Any farmers out there willing to let me play with some udders?

~Make household cleaners/soaps/candles. This just goes with wanting to be more green and frugal.

~Use our solar clothes dryer religiously. meaning hang laundry on the line, which I love to do. But sometimes it's so much easier to pop it in the dryer.

~ Visit a new Campground. Camping is an adventure we both love. It's great fun to visit a new place and meet new people.

~Visit Joy. Joy is my sweet baby niece that we were given custody of this past June. We made the difficult but right decision to let her go. She has a new forever family. Yet, it sometimes hurts. I'll get into that some other time.

~Knit. I still want to learn how to knit well. I can do the basic knit and purl with some difficulty. I have Nana's gorgeous needles and want to do something great with them. I will do it. Yup.

~Decorate for holidays. No, not just for Christmas. I used to make little things for different holidays and put out different decorations. I stopped after ken thought it was a waste of time. I do miss having a few decorations out throughout the year. I admit, when ken said it was a waste of time I was a bit over the top. I want to decorate but do it simply. Remember? Simplify.

~Last but not least, I want to tell the people I love them as often as possible. If you are in my life I truly do love ya.

Fab Five

You know the Fab Five I talk about so often? Well, they were gracious enough to pose for some yuletide pictures. They even sported a fancified Santa doggie hat. Ok, they really had no choice but they cooperated fantastically.

Macy Jewels
Brayden Michael

McKenzie Elizabeth

Allison Jeanne

Arizona Claire

Next up....the cat (that thinks she's a dog) Betsey Sue. Yup, this is gonna be interesting!!

Embrace The Season

When Mother nature gave us our 1st real dusting of snow I, along with my fab friend Kathy plopped our bodies on the ground and made snow angels.
Let your guard down and have some fun.
Get in touch with your inner child.

You're never too old to play in the snow and make snow angels!!

C'mon, you know you wanna!!

Embrace the seaon. =)

Illuminated

I'm happy to report we have lights in the front yard. Oh this excites every bone in my body. I'm totally not joking folks. I get all giddy when the sun goes down and the lights turn on. Tonight I did my housework after I got back from the gym, then hopped into my Eeyore footie pajamas and sat by the front window waiting for the lights to turn on. There's something magical about Christmas lights.

"Blessed is the seaon which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!" ~ Hamilton Wright Mabie

Happy Holidays from our home to yours.

Scarf-utopia

Friends, family, neighbors...don't be surprised if you get some version of a scarf from me this year. I take that back, YES pretend to be surprised. LOL The fact is, I love scarves, I love making scarves and I've only got one neck and a certain amount of days in the year I can wear them.

I have a handful to make for orders but if you'd like one made for you, a child or heck, even your pet...I can totally "hook" you up. Get it? "hook" you up. Haha I kill me!!

Ok, back to my lil scarf-utopia. Have a superbaliffic day. =)

Pass it on

Today after our workout we went to food court in the mall and picked a boy and a girl of of the angel gift tree. It makes me so sad when I see that all a 10 & 11 yr old want is some new socks and a pair of jeans. Ken and I are fortunate to be in the position to help these kids and I am so grateful.

Today, I posted this on my facebook and holy smokes!! The conversation went in a direction I never expected. Some talked about people abusing welfare, others talked about how middle class white males have the upper advantage. Seriously folks? It sickens me that people would go to thos eextremes. The facts are, there are people and pets out there who need help and we should absolutely do what we can to help them.

Christmas is not about gifts. I despise Corporate Christmas. This year Ken & I will be helping out these two kids and donating to our local Animal Society. My sister and I exchange handmade gifts and I choose to make the majority of the gifts I give.

All I am asking is for people to remember those less fortunate. Remember, you are blessed, pass it on.

To Mom

To Mom:

You taught me how to crochet in one day. We'd sit for hours making skeins of yarn into balls.



I'd pick handfuls of dandelions you would proudly display on the windowsill.



I'd go upstairs and collect the "dirty hangers" Why empty hangers were called dirty hangers is beyond me.



We'd put my Puff The Magic Dragon 8 track in the player and listen to it before I went to school.



I was your Suzy Bell.



When I was 10....You died



I am living with my real dad and his wife now. They love me very much and treat me like their daughter. But, I still miss you, Mom.



I'd pick two handfuls of dandelions so you could put them in a jar on the windowsill, but toss them on the ground.



Man, I wish I could sit on your couch and watch you crochet.



I have learned that wanting "things" and having more is selfish.



I wish I told you I loved you on November 11th instead of getting mad that you said I couldn't have another Cabbage Patch Kid.



I wish I hugged you and told you that I loved you every day.



When I was a teenager



I'm in high school now, Mom. I wish I could tell you about the boy/boys I have a crush on.



I sit in my room crocheting while thinking of you.



Your voice is beginning to fade away now. But, I never forget the way you'd say Katherine Marie.



I go to your grave and tell you I love you and long for a hug from you.



What I wouldn't do to sit in the Church pew with you and hear you sing "Amazing Grace"



I go to my Junior and Senior Prom but you aren't there to help me get ready.



I have my first real boyfriend and fall in love, only to have my heart shattered.



I could use your advise so I go to your grave and talk to your stone.



When I am 18 I meet the love of my life. I wish you could meet him, Mom. his name is Ken. I think he is The One.



I was given the blue afghan you made. It always was my favorite. I sleep with it every night. It makes me feel like you are giving me a big hug when I have it in my arms.



I got engaged to that wonderful boy Ken, Mom. Oh how I wish I could tell you this in person rather than visiting this stone.



I took a pregnancy test and we are expecting!! You are going to be a wonderful great Grandma!! I want to rush to you and get your advice, Mom. After all you raised 10 awesome kids. Who better to talk to than you, Mom.



I'm lying here in a hospital bed. I lost the baby Mom. I had an ectopic pregnancy and they had to remove my ruptured fallopian tube. I don't know what hurts worse, the pain of losing our baby or not having you hear with me, Mom. I realize my step mom is a god send. She understands and shows me the love I know you would show.



Mom, I need you.



Today is my wedding day. I am 20 years old. I wake up and get ready all by myself. Darnit, you should have been here. You would love Ken. he treats me like gold and he's rather handsome. He wants a big family too, Mom. We played a song in yours and dad's memory and our baby's too. I hope you heard it. The whole day I thought of you. I even wore your Mother's ring to have you near.



It's my 22nd birthday I and I just found out we are pregnant. I want to share my birthday and this awesome news with you....so I close my eyes and think of you.



I can barely remember your voice now and it breaks my heart.



I really need you, Mom. We lost the baby to another ectopic pregnancy. Dreams of having a family are shattered. I could really use a hug from you right now. Our angels reside with you and Dad in heaven now.



We go through a handful of adoption processes and they never go right. I need you Mom.



I'm 35 now and it's the 25th anniversary of your passing.



I still sleep with your blue afghan every night.



I go to your grave and I smile when I think of you.



I crochet for hours on end. You have put the passion for yarn in my bones. I know, my passion is a bit extreme.



I find myself missing you more today than I ever have and I wonder how that is possible. I only had you for 10 short years. How can I miss something so bad that I barely had? Then I realize, you have always been with me, Mom. you are in my heart. You are in my thoughts.

It is you that inspires me to be the best daughter, wife, daughter in law, sister, cousin, aunt and friend I can possibly be. In those short 10 years you made such an impact on my life. I want to be a better person because of you.

I honor my husband. The love you and dad showed for one another is a mirror to the love Ken & I share. You taught me what that kind of love is and I knew what to look for. You continue to teach me every day to never give up, because, you never did.

You were full of P&V and well, Mom...I guess you could say, so am I. I do wish I could pick up the telephone or just drop by and hear your voice.



I close my eyes and I feel you in my heart. You may not be here on earth with me but, you will always reside in my heart & I can reach in there and talk to you anytime I want.



I miss you Mom



Love,

Suzy Bell