About Me

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I'm a bit silly & I like to make people laugh. People tell me I'm rather loud but I am usually quiet until I get to know you. I love life, I live life to the fullest & treat others as I would like to be treated.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Aspire To Inspire!!!

Most people know that I’m a thinker…I often over-process & am what most would call a daydreamer. I think of what my destiny in life is supposed to be quite often. Recently I told Ken that I know I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing & I know I am not where I am meant to be.

We had another good friend pass away a couple weeks ago & times such as an end of a life really make me think even more-so as to what I am doing with my life and if I am indeed fulfilling it in every way possible. I can tell you this…I have no regrets, I live life to the fullest, laugh often, and take every single opportunity of adventure I am capable of. Being ‘comfortable’ for too long suppresses my sense of adventure & stifles my being. I do believe that one needs to take risks & not ‘settle’ into complete routines. Life is not a written out in a planner. Now, sometimes that part can even be hard for me. I’m spontaneous, yes but I am a total list maker & make lists of the lists of what needs to be done, what I want to get done, lists of the lists that I need to pack, appointments…just lists. I have lists of topics I want to write about, lists of projects that I want to make & lists of what I need to have to fulfil those projects. So you get the jist….I do try to have ‘focus’ and ‘order’ in my life…and I can tell you this…it rarely works out because life happens!! I often wonder who sticks to their lists in life & pass special opportunities in life by because they are so bound to these lists…

I guess what I’m saying &trying to implement more-so in my life is to not fret over what doesn’t go right & make the best out of it. I like to think I already do this. Now, I can also say it’s never been my dream to be a trucker’s wife & spend hours, days, and months on the road. It just never even crossed my mind that I’d be living the life I am now…let alone having it be the biggest blessing. Honestly, within a 3rd period we traveled to all of the 48 continental United States and many Providences in Canada. We have walked on the Great Salt Lake, stepped in Buffalo dung, been amongst the homeless in the south, driven in Vegas, LA, Miami, Boston & everywhere in between. Just recently we saw our last big city being NYC. It was a high but at the same time it’s like, it’s over…but not really. We haven’t even scratched the surface yet!!! Sure, the places we’ve been, the people we’ve met, the places we’ve made our mark…they are there, we have the pictures, the videos & our memories of this journey. And what a journey it’s been!!! I never ever thought I’d stray from my dreams & my plans in life & have this whole trucking thing be the dream I never knew I had.

Now, like I said earlier…I know this is not what I was meant to do in life and I know I have so much more to give to the World. I feel better when I know I am giving it my all & doing my very best to make a difference.

So, when I told Ken this he actually listened…like really listened. He knows I want to write, and to live out West. I cannot even express in words how strong my desire for both of these things are. But while we are following his dream of driving truck I am putting my hopes & dreams on the back burner. His job is more stable & makes more sense. But I seriously want to write, travel, climb mountains, watch sunsets on the horizon, experience every little thing life has to offer. I want to aspire to inspire people. I’m not sure how or what I’d do to do that. But I often notice how un-inspired people are and I’d like to somehow be able to show people how to get inspired, live their dreams & to not miss a single opportunity. Even if the opportunity that is put before you is not something that you’d ever think you’d do…you should do it!!! It may just be the dream you never knew you had…like me with trucking!!!

So, seeing I am talking about how you should always live your dream I figure I should eat my own words & do what I need to do to get where I want to be!! Are you where you want to be in life? Are you taking chances, taking risks?

I was recently contacted by an author in NY that wanted to take excerpts from a story I wrote about my Mom and implement them in a book he wants to write. At 1st I was like, WOW!! That’s neato. But it didn’t take long until I realized that this man wanted to take MY story of MY life and make $ off of me helping his create a storyline. I am pretty open once you know me but it’s my life, I’m the one who had to live through it and by no means can I or will I give my life to someone else to write about. I have cut down on my postings a lot lately and have received messages as to why. Well this is a big reason…that and I feel as though I am writing to an invisible audience at times.

So…this is what I’m going to do…I’m going to write…a book. This time for real. I hope that by putting myself out there I will perhaps touch one life. Make even one person be inspired, to follow their dreams, to treasure life even through the bad times. One thing I can honestly attest to is that life is often unfair, and sad, and the challenges are great, we all have hurdles in life we must get over to become the best person we can be. It’s like a river I guess you could say…turbulent and wild in places & every so often you reach a calm. It’s up to us to keep paddling!! When my time is coming to an end I want to know I took all my chances, didn’t leave a stone unturned, left my mark …no matter how small it may be. Shouldn’t we all be doing this?

Below is a song that inspires me in so many ways....

I Was Here - Lady Antebellum

I WAS HERE By Lady Antebellum

You will notice me
I'll be leavin' my mark, like initials carved in an old oak tree
you wait and see
maybe I'll write like Twain wrote
maybe I'll paint like Van Gough,
cure the common cold
i don't know but I'm ready to start cuz i know in my heart

I wanna do something that matters
say something different
something that sets the whole world on it's ear
i wanna do somethin better, with the time i've been given
and i wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
and leave nothin less that something that says i was here

I will prove you wrong
if you think im all talk, your in for a shock
cuz this streams too strong, and before too long
maybe i'll compose symphonies
maybe i'll fight for world peace
cuz i know it's my destiny to leave more that a trace of myself in this

I wanna do something that matters
say something different
something that sets the whole world on it's ear
i wanna do somethin better, with the time i've been given
and i wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
and leave nothin less that something that says i was here

And i know that i, i will do more than just pass through this life
i'll leave nothin less that somethin that says i was here, i was here, i
was here, i was here

Wanna do somethin that matters
somethin that says i was here
wanna do somethin that matters
somethin that says i was here, i was here

Monday, March 23, 2009

Thirteen Years Later

My how time flys by!! Today is our 13th Wedding Anniversary!! Sadly he is on the road & won't be home until late tonight so it's been rather frumpy froggish around here. But on the upside....WOW!!! 13 YEARS!!!!
I can't even begin to tell you how much I love this man!! He's my best friend, my partner in crime, my lover, my comedian, and he just flippen rocks!!!
In March of 1994 I met my Ken. I was down by the beach sitting in my car with my lil brother contemplating life. I had just gotten out of a not too swell relationship with a ral wank of a guy. The beach was just one of the few places I could go to think & try to regain my old self back after wank butt destroyed my happiness, my self worth, esteem. Put it this way... I was a mess!
A pickup truck beeped it's airhorn at me & the passenger was waving...now who in the heck could it be!! This was an OLD OLD Chevy stepside pickup painted primer gray...and it had bullet holes in it!! It pulled along side of my car & it was my friend Scott who was in the passenger seat & some other guy was the driver. I knew Scott through my wank of a bf only because wank & I would stand in the hall before class & Scott had a broken foot & he'd sneak up on us.
Anyways...Scot & myself talked a bit & he asked how I was & all that jazz. He went on & on about if I'd ever date anybody...to which I said NO!! I needed a long break from dating. Well this persisted & I said "fine!~ if the guy likes Davey Allison I'll give him a shot" Little did I know but the driver of the truck was wearing a Davey Allison ball cap!! Now, keep in mind, back in 94 NASCAR racing was not as popular as it is now a days. So with that Scott introduced me to Ken & we decided to go for a ride in my car & I showed them how my good ole' 4 door Buick century could smoke it's wheels!! OH gawd! I was a nerd!! Oh, I should also mention...I was wearing purple sweatpants & a Charlotte Hornets t-shirt! Yeah, not what most people would like to meet their future husband in!! Oh, and I had no makeup on & a mouth full of metal!! Yup...very HOT!!!! NOT!!! So after our ride I took them back to the creepy bullet hole truck.

Ken & my friendship kept on through the months. It was mostly a 'hello, how are you' type thing in the halls. I started dating a good friend of mine & went to my Senior prom with Pat. A couple days after Prom we broke up. We were just meant to be friends. Well with Scott knowing I was 'available' again he put the pressure on & I jokingly said "sure, I'll go with Woodbury" Well Scott marched right into Ken's math class & asked him if he'd date Pepin & Ken apparently said yes because Scott met up with me as I was walking to my class & informed me I was now dating Ken!!! YIKES!!! I barely knew Ken & we were dating?? what the!!!!!

It took us 2 weeks of 'dating' before we actually went on a date!! It was Ken's 17th birthday dinner at Crispignas with his whole entire family where our 1st date occurred!! Ok, most couples do something on their own before they are introduced to the family...yeah, not us...we never do things how they 'are usually done' The date went well & I silenced Ken's dad when he asked how many siblings I have....I have to count on my fingers & toes how many I have. NOOOO I did not take my shoes off but I did have to count on my fingers.

That summer I broke up with Ken a couple times. He was entirely too good to be true. Judging from my previous relationships this whole happy time doesn't last long & before you know it you are being controlled & all that other un-fancy stuff. During this 'break-up' we still hung out every day...but we said we were not dating...which is soo silly!!! Of course we were still dating!!! LOL

Now, not that anybody needs to know this...but I must say, it took us 9 months to kiss more than a peck & we did not participate in sex. I found out that Ken was in this for real. He was not just another guy wanting sex & all that other crap. We spent months & months building our relationship. One of complete honesty, trust & love. I can't even tell you how important this was. Because when times get rough we always have our friendship & that base of trust we built before we jumped in the bed so to speak.

In March of 95 we rented our 1st apartment. And on August 5th we found out we were expecting a lil baby!! We were so excited!!! We knew what we were doing when we did it...even though we were not married. I know that does not sit well with everyone & is not recommended at all. Well, the pregnancy failed & on August 23rd, 2 days before my 20th birthday, we lost "Angel" due to an ectopic pregnancy. It was a lot to digest & deal with & I am so thankful for that foundation Ken & I built.

In December of 95 we needed to get out of town & we moved to Green Bay, WI. My ex was up to his wankish behavior again & his buddies would try to run over Ken as he walked in school. The harassment was out of this galaxy & we thought a move would be the best thing. So, Ken dropped out of school &away we went. I know, not advisable to drop out. I always said I'd never date a drop-out...

During our stay in Green Bay we decided we'd move up our July 20th wedding to March 23rd, 1996. We always do things on a whim so to us totally uprooting our wedding plans & allotting a month before our wedding day was not even thought of as being odd. I told ya we don't do things by the book!!

Our wedding day came. We rented the VFW Hall, a place my parents frequented. It was not my 'dream' wedding but all that mattered was that I was marrying my best friend. Man, he's fantastic!! The hall was packed with friends & family & Scott, the same guy who got ken & I together was our best man. We were both minors at the time. I was 20 & Ken was 18 so we weren't drinking. Plus I still had a fair share of tummy issues from after my surgery going on so I sipped juice =)

The years have had it's ups & downs...we bought our 1st home in 96, lost our baby "Alex" on August 31, 1997, we've dealt with knowing we will never bear children as we had always hoped, jobs were had, jobs were lost, we lost our home & everything, lived in a camper for 3 years, we've traveled by semi to the 48 continental United States & many Providences in Canada, watched many a sunset, even stood on the Great Salt Lake & watch the sun set on the horizon, we've hiked, and biked & roller bladed to do out laundry, we've adopted 5 dogs & numerous cats, friends & family have died, we celebrated our 10yr wedding anniversary by renting the same hall we were married in & threw one heck of a funtastical party!!! The ones closest to us were there & made the day so special. We've gone from having nothing & bought another home, we still continue to truck all over the place in our semi, we've had 3 adoptions go bad & we are still madly deeply in love.
I can't even sum into words what my husband means to me. Just the word Ken brings a smile to my face. He's shy around most people but I can assure you he's the biggest asshat I know & has me bustin a gut on a daily basis! He knows how to hold me when I am sad & knows when I need to be put in my place & check my attitude. Yup...I admit it, I've got an attitude and am not always a walk in the park. He takes care of me when I am sick, inspires me to believe in my dreams, and myself & makes me want to be the very best I can be. He has calmed me down so much. He's the ying to my yang so to speak. He is the part of me that was missing...even before I knew something was missing. Here's to many more ultra fantabulastic years with my most amazing man! My we live to be 150 & still be the same madly in love kids we have always been & continue to be!!!!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Gives me the Heebie Jeebies!!!

Ok...I'm sitting here watching the BBC channel & there's a program on called "my fake baby" It's rather bizarre to say the least. This artist creates 'reborn' babies...DOLLS in the image that her customers want! The artistry of this woman is outstanding & the babies look so real...BUT the customers are wackadoodles in my opinion!! In fact, one woman has a couple "babies" & "expecting" again...She goes as far as to wear a maternity top to boot!!!! The nursery is set up, bottles with fabric softener are filled to simulate milk...Now, it's all fine & dandy & to each their own to have a doll replicated in memory of their non living child. But these woman carry on a life as if they are parents! Even go as far as taking their "babies" to the zoo, the park, grocery shopping. One woman just purchased a crap ton worth of $ in baby clothes!!! And this current one brought her dead sons locks of hair in!! She is also going on about how she loves the attention of having a baby to tote around...What's even crazier is that the husbands allow & support their wives!!!! Like I said, to each their own but really...I have to wonder...what are these women doing to themselves? They carry out their lives as if their loved one never passed with these babies...How does having one of these "babies" help one move on? Oh, this just has me all wigged out!! Here's a lil linky link to check it our for yourself!!! http://www.channel4.com/video/my-fake-baby/series-1/episode-1/living-doll_p_1.html

Monday, March 2, 2009


This past week has given me a whole new outlook & what I feel has changed me immensely!! Now to some it’s not a big deal but to me it’s HUGE!!! For years my hearing has been total wankered up. Now, I know it’s not a life or death deal but not being able to hear crap really affected my happiness & made me much more apt to be less social. In fact, I tried hard, for many years to keep it hidden. Paying attention to people’s expressions & lips & relying on Ken to fill me in was the norm.

This past winter my ears decided they’d take another good ole poo. I was one frumpy frog for a good few weeks. During that time I was a truckin chick with my hubby, reading anything I could get my eyes on, crocheting till my hands hurt so bad I’d cry. I refused to let it get the best of me…but it was. I needed to keep myself busy to keep the inevitable out of my brain & remain as positive as possible. Now, I know this was not the best approach. During this time I know I was not the greatest friend that my pals deserve…my communicationalizing with many friends & even my lil sis Libs was put on the back burner…and I’m so sorry for that.

It’s been a week since my new aides arrived & folks I cannot even express how crazy awesome it’s been!! I can hear all sorts of fancy stuffolla!!! Seriously!!!! In the past I’ve been like embarrassed but holy beans!!! I bawled my eye bobble obbles out when Ken whispered “I love you so much Kath”…and I heard it…and understood it!!! It’s been years since I’ve heard a whisper…so it was pretty stinkan neato not to mention sweet as all heckles for Ken to surprise me in such a way!!! This whole past week was a whirlwind of ‘new to me’ sounds, hangin with dear friends, participating in great convos & just enjoying life more than I already did!!!

"If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it." William Arthur Ward