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I'm a bit silly & I like to make people laugh. People tell me I'm rather loud but I am usually quiet until I get to know you. I love life, I live life to the fullest & treat others as I would like to be treated.

Friday, January 4, 2013

2013 Aspirations

How I begin every New year is with a random list of aspirations.  This year I've got a lot on my mind to try to accomplish.  I don't necessarily plan out when I will tackle these aspirations.  I take them as they come...and sometimes they don't come and are rolled over to the next year to work on.  Life is all about creating new experiences, and moving on.  These are just a fraction of the things I am hoping to work on in my life in 2013.

~Ride a Mechanical Bull
~Knit
~Make myself a sweater, preferably out of non scratchy wool
~Learn something new
~visit the dentist (I am a huge sally)
~Exercise
~Try a new food...not octopus!
~Have a veggie and successful flower garden
~Plant a tree
~Make bread
~Pick wild fruits
~Camp at least 4 times
~host game nights
~hug more
~swear less
~write more
~Save $
~use my treadle sewing machine to make something dandy
~volunteer
~witness a miracle
~pay for a strangers meal
~make candles
~drive across the mighty Mac. This is HUGE!!!
~Declutter Oh boy, have I got my work cut out for me with that one
~Try a turnip
~watch more sunrises and sunsets
~Picnic in the park
~Wear a bathing suit in public and not be all skiddish
~learn to make sausage
~take bikerides
~adopt better sleeping habits
~borrow books from the library
~eat breakfast
~make gifts for giving
~read more books
~less time on facebook
~have more real conversations...less on the computer. That means ~more phone calls, in person lunches, visits, etc. Time to disconnect a bit to reconnect
~Call an old friend
~forgive someone
~stress less
~ride my bike or walk to places more
~say no. No to if I don't want to do something. I always say yes, even when I know it's too much on my already filled agenda
~say yes. At times I refrain from doing things for fear of a mm attack.

~and the biggest thing I am going to try to overcome is the feeling I have that I failed as a possible parent when we let Joy go. It has been two years and I think about her everyday and the day she left our home goes through my mind play by play often. I remember handing her over to a remarkable loving woman who I knew would love Joy and give her everything I knew I couldn't. I have never ever regretted the decision we made to let her go...but the feeling of being a failure and letting our family and my husband down still lingers. I need to start believing I had a part in giving Joy the best home that she deserves & put away her blanket that I'd snuggle her in night after night that still smells like her that sits in the laundry room. It's time to let go of the negative feelings I have about myself, and know that when I see Joy, it won't remind me of being a failure. Instead I will be reminded of the gift I helped to give Joy and her beautiful, loving family.

2 comments:

Jewel said...

Oh, Kathy, you are sooo right...you've got to remember that you are NOT a failure! Joy was in your life @ the time that she needed you! I am so sorry that you are going thru those feelings! But you are an amazing women to even admit what you are feeling & to write it down & share it with all of us! I like your aspirations list!

Anonymous said...

How are you doing now?

M. Scott Peck 'The Road Less Traveled' - a way to be gentle with yourself.