Realizations

I apologize for my tardiness on posting lately. It seems that with the events that unraveled last week that I got in a funk. I had some harsh realizations & had to dig deep within myself to un-funktify. I am certain we all get in funktify-ish moods.

I did oodles of cleaning, organizing & just thinking this past week. I tend to do that when my heart gets wounded. Everything is honkey dorey on the homefront now. I will invite you to some of this past weeks realizations:

1. I love my huband more than I love ANYTHING in this whole universe...including myself...and I wonder if he feels the same way. I know he loves the beans out of my punk ass but is it as deep as my undying love I hold for him?

2. I need to love myself more often & do things for ME

3. I have lost so much of me lately...but got back in touch with my inner self. I've been crafting more, reading more, exercising more, taking walks, etc

4. I need to not take certain things in life too seriously. Most people only know the quirky, spazzy self of Kathy. There is a serious side.

5. My doggies & Kitties are the bestest furry buddies one could ever want.

6. I'm still trying to figure out why we never do things with friends.

7. If the friends we have are more like aquaintances.

8. When I love I love deeply.

9. I am still a hard core listener of 80's music.

10. I do have issues calling my in-laws "Mom & Dad". I haven't called anybody that since I was 10 after my parents died. The part in my heart of having love for parents is not dead...just the using of the names is forever gone. I do not feel it is right for me to call someone Mom & Dad...those were special words I was priviledged to use for just a short time...and I reserve them for my parents. =)

11. I bought some yummy pumpkin candles & some Fall decorations the other day & have been decorating. I used to decorate for every season & Holiday EVER! Ken would think it was silly. So I stopped. Decorating makes me happy & makes my home feel cozy to me. Some guys just don't appreciate those little touches. It's nothing with Ken. He was just born a dude with no femininity. I shouldn't feel frumpy when he lacks interest & makes fun of my need for decorations.

12. I am still very hurt by my in-laws imposition & my husband not having the guts to say "No" I need to work on letting that hurt disipate...it's hard though...I put him 1st for everything. Like I said, I'm working on letting it go. I'm a stubborn gal so it may take some time.

13. I still despise odd numbers. In fact I contemplated even going up to 13 & if I should end my list there. Ya know, just to help with the getting over the yuckyness odd numbers put into my bones!! Ok, just this once...I'll end it on an odd #...a prime one at that! It's October, a time for Halloween & spookyness. The number 13 is "spooky" right?

Just know that this bugs the living pizzizzles out of me!!!